Thursday, December 15, 2011

If You Don't Copy/Paste This Ten Times...

You know, we're going to be totally screwed if somebody comes out with a chain letter that actually has mystical properties. Or I guess chain copy/paste these days, but whatever. You know, because somehow, there are apparently some people who still believe that if they don't repost that message, a ghost is totally gonna come to their house and pummel them with a 2x4. I don't think I've ever actually met any of those people in real life, presumably because they often die too quickly running into open traffic after being convinced that there would be candy under that manhole. But whatever, we let these people have their insane sputterings on YouTube, and maybe someday one of them won't repost enough times and they'll end up getting raped by the ghost of a gay cowboy, or whatever it is they say these days.

But that's the thing. If there were actually a chain letter that actually killed you if you didn't repost it, all of the calm, logical, rational people would DIE OUT. And the stupid, gullible ones would get to live! That's actually pretty brilliant, if you think about it. All the ghosts that I imagine are reading this, please don't steal this idea. I'm now planning on using it to get revenge on whoever inevitably kills me after mistaking me for a van. Or a quail. Basically what I'm saying is that I plan to get killed by the border patrol, or possibly Dick Cheney.

It's sort of like all those internet ads that offer you free stuff for no discernible reason. How many people still fall for those? And how many of them get sectioned every year. "Oh HEY! Advertisers have never lied to me BEFORE. Sweet!"

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