I don't really understand President's Day. I mean, it used to make some sort of sense. We had Washington Day and we had Lincoln Day. Okay, a little bit weird that we only have holidays for those two, and no one else, as if they were the only important politicians in American history.* Then apparently someone decided that Washington and Lincoln just aren't cool anymore, so they get lumped into one single holiday with a completely vague name. "President's Day" really doesn't tell us anything at all. What are we celebrating here? Our "freedom"? No, we have the Fourth of July for that. So what then? The fact that...presidents...exist? Or something? Sure, let's go with that.
You know what? No. I know exactly what we're celebrating. Two things, to be exact. The first is not having to go to work. Or school. Or whatever other unpleasant obligation you normally have to go to on most Mondays. Haven't you noticed that they just so happened to make it so that it happens only on Mondays? Subtle guys. Real subtle. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't mind the day off, but seriously guys, at least TRY to make it look like it isn't just an excuse to be lazy and get drunk on a Monday. Hey, why don't we be lazy and get drunk on a WEDNESDAY for once? That'd be kinda fun, right? Anyone?
Of course, we all know what the real big excuse is. We all know that it's just another excuse for big companies to have sales and sell us more useless crap. What do mattresses have to do with George Washington? I'll tell you what. Not a single goddamn thing. So then why the President's Day Sale? Do you just hate us that much? Because I really, really hate you.
*Personally, I would totally be all over Benjamin Franklin Day. Benjamin Franklin was awesome. Just ask the French.
No comments:
Post a Comment