I like honest we are about Labor Day. For most other "three day weekend" holidays, we pretend that we're celebrating something, and just "observing" it on Monday, which is code for "we really don't want to go to work on Monday and having a day off in the middle of the week would be really weird" (see: MLK Day, President's Day, etc.). But on Labor Day, we are literally just deciding that we don't feel like working. It's one of the few times a year where it's perfectly okay to say that we're having a day off just to have a day off. You can talk about how it's to "honor the hard-working, everyday Americans", but we all know what's it's really for. It's for finally being able to get drunk on a Monday afternoon and have everyone else be totally cool with it.
Although, it is sort of ruined by the fact that everyone ELSE has the day off too, so there's nothing to do. If you want to celebrate your arbitrary day off with a trip to the bar and a prostitute, too bad. They're not working today either. So you have to plan for labor day in advance. Go to the store the day before and stock up on booze so you're prepared. I don't think it's really possible to stock up on prostitutes though. Maybe if you kidnapped them and chained them up in your basement, but that's kinda sorta illegal. Then again, you're already hiring prostitutes, which is ALSO illegal for some reason, so you might as well go all the way and become a convicted felon. You know, that's probably why we don't have three day weekends more often. Too many crimes would be committed.
Of course, another problem is that the REALLY important jobs DON'T get the day off, so if you actually do something that matters, you probably won't get to stop working today. Seems kinda backwards to not let the people who work the hardest take the day off that is there to HONOR THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THE HARDEST. So yeah, Labor Day is stupid. Oh well, THREE DAY WEEKEND.
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