Please Curb Your Children

Has anyone else noticed the recent "child leash" phenomenon? And has anyone else noticed how extremely disturbing it is? For those of you have brains that haven't been tainted by seeing this madness, there are apparently some parents who are so astronomically terrible at parenting that they have to put their children on leashes. I wish I was making this up.

I mean like, seriously? You can't be bothered to keep an eye on your kid because you're too busy talking on your cell phone, so you have to put them on a freaking leash? These people should have their children taken away. Not because they're being abusive or anything, but because they're obviously too stupid to tell the difference between a baby and a dog. Just because they both poop wherever they want doesn't mean they're the same thing. There are a few differences. For example, dogs are a lot cleaner and have better toys.

I think an even better question is, who the hell came up with this? I have two theories. It was either invented as a bet, or by drunk people making a bet. In the first scenario, some guy challenged his friend to come up with the stupidest thing possible and make money off of it. His first attempt was the Tiddy Bear, but he thought he could do better, so the child leash was born. The second scenario is pretty much the same, except at a bar and with more puking. Well, a little bit more puking.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take Timmy for a walk.