Footnote Fever

I don't really understand why people are so obsessed with footnotes.* I mean, what exactly is their advantage over parenthetical statements?** I mean, does forcing the reader to skip down to the bottom of the page really add to the experience that much?*** Or is it just sort of a stylistic choice?**** Where did the idea even come from?***** I just don't really see the point.******

I mean, it sort of makes sense if it's one of those ridiculously long footnotes,******* but in that case, couldn't it just be it's own paragraph?******** It just seems kind of ridiculous to me that it's even necessary to have those.********* And what about when there's like fifty footnotes in one article, or something like that?********** It's like, can't people learn to format their work better, instead of making it look like a friggin' menu?***********

Man, whoever invented footnotes need to die.************

*Hey, look at that. I didn't open a post with a stupid question this time. Do I get bonus points for that? No? Well, I should.
**This is probably the nerdiest possible way to say "something in parentheses".
***Is this the stupid opening question? Not sure what it's doing as the third sentence. Know your place, stupid question.
****The style, of course, being obnoxious pretentiousness. As if there's any other kind.
*****It was probably those damn homosexuals again.
******This actually applies to most things.
*******Ever read something like an Annotated Shakespeare. THERE'S some long footnotes for ya. Like, damn.
********This doesn't actually make any sense. Please amuse yourself by pretending that it does.
*********You know what else would be ridiculous? Complaining about it. Don't you hate it when people complain about stuff that doesn't matter. I sure do.
**********You have no idea how much this annoys me. Seriously, it's one of the most grating things in the world.
***********Actually this doesn't make any sense either. I don't know what kind of restaurant would have a menu like that. A very strange restaurant. I want to go there now.
************With apologies to the inventor of the footnote. I'm sure you're a lovely rotting corpse.