Friday, February 18, 2011

All Kinds of Damage

I like the idea behind those metal spikes that they put at the exits to parking lots. The whole concept of giving someone, as they put it, "SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE" just for accidentally backing up their car a little bit is absolutely hilarious. Even funnier for the fact that it could easily be replaced with some sort of barrier that can only be driven over on one side. So they've essentially put in something that can cause hundreds of dollars of damage to your car, just to show you that they mean business. I think we should start doing that more often. It would certainly bring down the rate of extremely minor crimes.

For example, think of how much safer we would be if we just started shooting people for jaywalking. We could position cops at every major intersection, and if someone crosses to soon, they get shot. I mean, think of all the benefits! It would keep the population down, it would make motorists a lot safer and less worried about hitting pedestrians, and it would give the cops something to do, you know, because things must get pretty slow in the crime fighting industry.

And hey, why stop with jaywalking? I'm sure we could get the military involved in stopping people from running red lights. It's not like they have anything important to do. And I'll bet the SWATs would love to help the RIAA to stop people from pirating music. How else are we going to protect the masses? We gotta put safety first, right? Of course we do. If people think they can get away with stuff like that, they'll think they can get away with ANYTHING.

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