I'm getting really sick of people selling dirt. You can now* go to gardening stores and buy bags full of dirt. No, not fertilizer. Dirt. Just dirt. Like, twenty pound bags. Filled with dirt. They are literally selling us something that you can get for free by LETTING YOUR FOOD ROT. They are making us PAY (and a fairly large amount at that) for something that is used AS AN EXPRESSION FOR SOMETHING THAT COSTS ALMOST NOTHING.** This sort of blows my mind a little bit. I'd like to know who came up with this idea. What kind of person does it take to say "You know what? I'm gonna start a dirt company."? See, these are the real dangerous people in the world. Because they're money-hungry bastards.
And it's not so much that you're GETTING dirt from somewhere. I get that, you're gardening, you need soil. But why in the goddamn hell are you making people pay for it? That just seems so incredibly wrong to me. I'm not sure if I can stress this enough, but it's DIRT. Friggin' DIRT. It's decomposing plants and animals! That's like making someone pay for a bloated rat carcass! That does not seem right to me. Maybe my priorities are screwed up or something, but I feel like there's got to be something better to spend your money on. Or, I dunno, an easier way to get dirt.***
I think that's one of the few things that I would be totally okay with stealing. Bring the dirt back to the people. Apparently, the corporations have a lock-down on the dirt industry. It's time to return to free dirt for the masses. The citizens of this country demand to have their rotten apple cores back. The Dirt Revolution will not be televised. No one will want to watch it.
*Well, I say "now", but I'm not entirely sure how long this has been a practice. Of course, the correct answer to this question is "Who gives a piss?"
**Alternate title: "Dirt Cheap"
***Seriously, DIRT.
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