Hardcore Stuff

I think a lot more sports need to go professional. At this point, barring the Olympics, there's really only about five that people actually watch, and only about three that people actually watch in America. All of them are pretty good sports. They're exciting and everything, and obviously people enjoy it. But seriously, shouldn't we have gotten tired of them by now? I mean, I seriously don't understand how people can stand to watch entire baseball games every week. It's a good game, but it's not that good. There's some things I'd rather see.

Like dodgeball for example. Wouldn't professional dodgeball just be freaking awesome? Oh sure, I bet this has been attempted before, but for it to work, they'd really need to play it up. I say make teams of ten players, with five players in at a time. Play best three out of five matches, switching players in and out between rounds as the coach sees fit. Make it the "one hit and you're out" variation, to make sure the game doesn't go on for too long. And maybe a timer, having the team with the most surviving players at the end of the round be the winner. Can you imagine how good these guys would be? If pitchers can throw a baseball over 100 miles per hour, imagine how hardcore this sport would be. Disappointed when nobody gets injured in a football game? Who cares!? That one dodgeball players will probably never be able to have solid food again! No fights in this week's hockey match? Flip over to the NDA and see someone have their face mutilated by a flying rubber ball!

How about handball? There'd be less chance for injury in this one, but if we had one-on-one, professional handball, can you imagine how insanely fast the players would be? Their reflexes would have to be absolutely godly. I want to see someone dive for a last-second save before the it hits the line. I want to see someone spike the ball into the wall so hard it flies back and smashes their opponents testicles back into their legs. There are so many possibilities for this sort of thing!

I will leave you with a few more options, best left to the imagination:
Paintball
Martial Arts
Water Polo
Tetherball
Pin the Tail on the Donkey