A Complete And Utter Waste of an Article

I've never understood why people say that you have to "let your muse take over" and "let the writing do itself". As far as I can tell, that only works if your entire audience is totally tripping balls, and won't be able to tell the difference between something that you put the slightest bit of thought into and a bunch of random words you threw into a blender and called art. You can just make up any joke about some author you don't like there, I'll wait.

In an attempt to test this method, I deprived myself of sleep just long enough to lose roughly 50% of my cognitive abilities, then just started typing stuff. I wrote down everything that came into my head. The following is the result of this test.

I think there's a difference between the idea of purple and a sandwich that oh my god you just took the there is blood on my carpet. Someone is going to have to clean that up or the mayor is not going to take my fruitfly salad out of the crap crap dammit why are there so many bugs in here. There's like forty frikkin dogs in my house and I haven't even left for lunch yet and the dinosaurs are taking the last soup kitchen and god damn it feels good to be a gangster. If they are fifty of the last thirty seven then I hate to think what happens when the fish hit the side of a frying pan when you drop your face like the doctor and the doctor and he says to you he says oh my god I got trapped. No quotations. That's how he rolls. Like a shot to the face on the moon when you hit the I have a cup on my desk why are there so many I can't even see how the lamp got on that fan moon moon moon I'm not just making things up I'm even thinking and also making and correcting for typos and I'm still planning out the next sentence paragraph oh penis why did I say a bad word I got lost in the what okay seeya hello. Pie is an easy one, that's a random word no it isn't get out of my house taco atheist sheez that's not okay. Bone.

Right, so that actually turned out pretty well. It would certainly save a lot of time if I just wrote everything like that, but of course then I would probably start hating myself for it.