Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Seven Billion Dollar Man

I'm still waiting for the day when they start implanting iPods into our brains. I know for a fact that a whole bunch of super-naturalists are going to get pissy about it and say that we're allowing technology to overtake our lives and stuff like that, but you know what? I'm down to turn into a cyborg. As long as I get to keep all of my brain functions, and the robot implants are just there to make my body more awesome, I'm all for it. Specifically, I'd really be interested in getting some sort of robotic eye. Y'know, one that has zoom and can take pictures and stuff. And it better look awesome. I don't even care if it can shoot lasers, I just want my robot eye. Once they invent those, I'm going to move to Canada and stab one of my eyes out, so I can get one for free. That's exactly how healthcare works, right?

Of course, the REAL problem will be keeping the hardware constantly upgraded. I mean, let's say you just got a nice 3G router implanted in your skull that displays web pages through your robot eye.* And then a week later, they come out with a FASTER one that can also download music directly into your brain. Well NOW you gotta go out and get surgery again. It'll be just like getting a new iPod every few years, except you have to go under the knife every time. Sounds like a hassle, but then again, you're a cyborg. That's awesome enough to make up for pretty much anything.

I don't know, is it possible to run electronics off of the energy of the human body? If it is, we're going to have to start producing a lot more food, so we'll have the energy to run our brain computers. Also, I want rockets in my legs. Just cause.

*Cheating on tests will never be the same.

No comments:

Post a Comment