Tanning Bed

I spent hours working on that title.

So here's something extremely specific that's been bugging the hell out of me lately: leather seats. I do not understand them. Why would anyone in the world ever want leather (or faux-leather) seats? Mostly I'm talking about cars, but this also includes couches, chairs, and various vomit-stained bar stools. Why do I hate them so much? Because it's an increased price for a lower quality product.

Okay, have you ever seen a car commercial that brags about the "leather interior"? Now, at first, this seems like a good thing. Sure, leather is an expensive commodity, so leather seats should be impressive, right? Well, actually think about for a bit. Have you ever sat down on a leather car seat on a really hot day? That sucks doesn't it? It burns the hairs off your back. Not pleasant in the slightest. Alright, so now we realize how much it sucks on a hot day, but hey, a lot of things suck on a hot day. Tacos suck on a hot day, and tacos are awesome. Okay, but then remember what it's like to sit on leather when it's really cold. It feels like sitting on top of a goddamn ice cube. Cloth seats do not have this problem. Cloth seats are cheaper. I do not understand.

I have a leather couch. I hate that couch with a deep passion. There is no reason for leather couches to exist. They aren't comfortable. They're always cold. I am going to find the person who invented leather couches and go at them with a goddamn branding iron. And then maybe tan them or something....I suck at irony.