Friday, September 9, 2011

Green Means Go, Yellow Means Go Faster

We live in an interesting world. We live in a world where you people will be driving down a completely deserted street, with no cars for miles around, and they will stop at a stop light, and wait a full minute for it to turn green. We live in a world where you and seven other people can all be lined up in a row, staring at a hanging light fixture, with nothing but a long stretch of open road in front of you, and the guy who decides he's had enough of this and guns it is considered the crazy one. And you know what? He probably is. Anyone who says traffic lights are stupid or unnecessary should have their car confiscated by social services and dropped from a helicopter.* I just find them FASCINATING is all.

See, because you couldn't have a law that says "If there's like nobody coming for a real real long time, feel free to just go ahead and skip the light." Because that's ambiguous. Laws can't be situational like that, or else people will start using loopholes. But wait! Are not all laws situational and/or ambiguous? Heck, if they weren't, there'd be no reason to ever use a court of law. It would always just be "You broke the law, now you go to jail." No, you gotta have people who's entire job is to decide what the law dictates in any given situation. And they do that over and over and over again. So naturally, having an ambiguous law would be okay, right?

No of course it wouldn't you stupid prick, don't be ridiculous. "Some of the laws are occasionally in the gray area, therefore it's okay for laws to be stupidly situational and based entirely on good judgment" it a STUPID STATEMENT. But see, I can make arguments for it. That's the beauty of it all. If you apply enough carefully worded language you can prove anything. For example I'm trying to prove...absolutely nothing. Christ, this post went nowhere. Good night.

*Not for any particular reason, I just like seeing large objects fall from stupidly great heights. Physics is fun!

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