Monday, September 26, 2011

Money Makes You Crazy

I occasionally wonder about stupid things that don't matter at all. Actually, that's a lie. I do that constantly. Today, I'm wondering about when it is the world will have its first trillionaire and, as an extension of that, when being a millionaire won't be all that impressive any more. If I was an economist, which I never will be, because my brain has the capacity for some form of compassion for other human beings, I could probably make a rough estimate for it. Or, failing that, I could come up with some random year and have people believe me because experts don't lie.

See, because millionaires and billionaires are sort of like the pantheon of modern America, billionaires especially. Maybe millionaires are demigods or something, I don't know. But I mean, you got people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, and they aren't really people anymore. They're BILLIONAIRES. They're special and different because they could buy and sell you twenty seven times with their pocket change and still have enough left over to buy them and every prostitute in the city a lobster dinner and a ride home. Warren Buffett isn't just a regular guy. He's so ludicrously wealthy that he could just decide to sit in his house and decay for the next fifty years and he'd still probably have enough money to leave his grandchildren reasonably well-off. That's kind of awesome and kind of terrifying, when you think about it.

Personally, I'm waiting for one of these guys to go insane. No, not Howard Hughes insane where they just start raving like lunatics and wearing tissue boxes on their feet. EVIL insane, where they secretly commission a giant death laser and try to take over the world. I mean, after you have all that money, you could live comfortably for the next millennium, OR you could go out in STYLE. Come on, just one. I'm looking at you, Jobs. You're already a bit nuts. iLaser. Think about it.

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