Monday, September 19, 2011

Just Call Them Whatever You Want

I'm pretty sure that "liberal" and "conservative" have become pretty antiquated terms at this point. It used to be that a liberal was someone who wanted a lot of government. You know, regulations, state-funded programs, health care, all that good stuff. A conservative, by comparison, was someone who wanted a very small amount of government. You know, states rights, independence, unregulated everything, all that good stuff. But that's gotten a bit backwards lately, hasn't it? The "conservatives" are the ones who want to make it so that we regulate everything, i.e: keeping drugs illegal, stopping people from having abortions, telling gay people to go jump off cliffs, etc. And the "liberals" are the ones who want to legalize all the drugs and let people do their own thing. The only point where it still makes sense is in debates like health care, or taxes. But socially? It's pretty much gone backwards.

And don't say "Oh, well some people can be politically liberal but socially conservative." Yes, that's true, but do you think the crazy, super pro-drug people would identify as "conservative"? Hell no. Because to them, a conservative brings to mind a boring white guy who hates gays, or possibly a racist housewife. And to those far right-wing people, a liberal brings to mind an insane stoner who secretly wants total anarchy. So I think it's high time we came up with new terms, so things can start pretending to make sense again.

Okay, how about the far-right can be "assholes", the far left can be "douchebags", and the independents can be "pricks". That's fair, right? If anything, it would make debates far more interesting. And every news station in the world would get to have fun for at least a few weeks while everyone adjusts.

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