Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Everyone's a Loser

You know, I think it kind of reduces the effect of getting a trophy when EVERYONE gets a trophy. Have you ever noticed that? When they have little league sports these days, every single player gets a trophy, even the weird kid with the athletic capabilities of a boiled turnip.* So basically, everyone gets rewarded exactly the same, so that no one child is seen as BETTER by any of the other children. Am I the only one who sees the many things that are horrifically wrong with that?

First of all, children are not as stupid as you think they are. When one of the kids on the team is better than everyone else, your kids know damn well who it is.** Rewarding everyone equally for not doing diddly-piss is never going to change that. And when you don't recognize that and try to ignore it, it screws our heads up. It makes us think that even if we don't work as hard, everyone will get rewarded the same.***

Which brings me to my second point. This stupid crap teaches kids that it doesn't matter how much work you do, everyone's a winner. Everyone. And see, that doesn't work, because to be a winner, someone's gotta be a loser, and if you don't work hard, that loser's gonna be you.

I have five sports trophies on my shelf. I earned exactly two of them, for actually winning something.****

*For the record, that kid would be me. So yes, your predictions of him going nowhere were completely correct.
**I vaguely recall this super hardcore Brazilian kid on my soccer team that basically turned all of our strategies into "Pass the ball to him, win game."
***Which, by the way, is the reason why communism doesn't work. Why bother to work hard and become a doctor or a scientist when you'll make the same amount of money working as a janitor?
****For the record, it was swimming, not something that anyone actually cares about.

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