It always sort of pisses me off whenever the question "What would you do if you had (insert preposterous amount of currency here)?" and that one smug bastard says "I'd give it all away to charity!" Everyone in the room, including you, knows damn well that that is absolutely not even close to what you'd do. You're just saying that because you want everyone else to marvel at what a kind and generous soul you are, and I invite you to therefore clean my shoes with your own tongue, since you're apparently JESUS.* It makes me want to puke twice as much when people on those god-awful TV talent contests say it. Especially when they win and, surprise surprise, they don't give it all to charity. Pricks...
I will generally answer that question in one of two ways: The boring way and the honest way. Now, the boring way is about equally likely to be true, but is much less funny than the honest way.** The boring way is basically saying "I would support myself and my family and pay off the mortgage and blah blah blah reality." The honest way is what I think I would probably end up doing "Oh, I'd blow it all on stupid stuff in about a week." I would probably have no food and SO MANY VIDEOGAMES. That'd be the best few weeks ever before I got cut off for not paying the electric bill.
Next time I get asked this, I think I'll talk about paying off all the money I owe to the mob so they don't come to my house and break my kneecaps. And take my house somehow. After all, I we all owe a little bit of blood money to the mob, right? No? Just me? Okay then.
*Yes, I know Jesus washed feet and not shoes, but I don't want people licking my feet. Now that is just gross.
**Of course, pretty much any answer you give could be considered the boring way, because I'm pretty sure everyone is really, really sick of this stupid question right now.
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