I'm surprised we don't get more homeless people deliberately committing felonies in the hopes of getting a life sentence in prison. Because when you think about it, all homeless people really want to do is survive. If they didn't they'd just start killing themselves.* Sure, some of them try to get off the streets, but I'm pretty sure a large majority are not that goal-oriented. And to a homeless guy, prison would probably sound pretty sweet. You get fed regularly, (crappy food, but you still get fed), you get shelter (again, crappy shelter, but it's better than sleeping under a bridge), and you get to not get beat up by other homeless people if you're lucky enough to get into solitary confinement.**
It's not like you have to kill anybody or anything,*** just try to rob a store. Several times. And I mean like a store-store, not a mini-mart. Like, go in and try to steal fifteen purses from Macy's. And get caught. On purpose. I don't know, just do something to get yourself landed in the big house. If homeless people went forward with a plan like this, we'd have a worldwide hobo-crime epidemic AND a major increase in prison population, so we could completely screw EVERYONE over. See? This sounds like a GREAT idea.
*This is a pretty damn morbid observation, but I dare you to tell me it isn't true.
**I'm not sure if you get solitary confinement just for being crazy, or if you can also get it for doing something evil enough. Granted, you'd have to be pretty damn crazy to cut up like fifteen people and drink their blood, but hey, that's some dedication right there.
***You know, if you're one of those PUSSY homeless people
OF COURSE it's an excellent idea!
ReplyDeleteBut of course, if homeless people could come up with this sort of tomfoolery and mischief, they wouldn't be in such a situation in the first place now, would they?
They would be many things, but one of them WOULDN'T be homeless.