So I've recently discovered that one of the most entertaining experiences ever is baiting the 2012 conspirators. I'm not talking about the people who just talk about the world ending that year in jest, or as a very small, but maybe kinda sorta plausible possibility. I'm talking about the full-blown, 100%, holding signs in the street nut-jobs that are THOROUGHLY convinced that the end is nigh, and they know the EXACT day. Of course, this is if you can stop them from peeing on your shoes and asking you for change for five seconds to actually talk to them.* Then the real fun gets started.
See, the idea that an ancient civilization that was wiped out hundreds of years ago somehow managed to predict the future is absurd enough, but that's really just the beginning. First of all, if the Mayans were so damned clairvoyant, how come they didn't know that that was not, in fact, one of their gods coming to stop by for a chat, but Hernan Cortes, who only wanted to chat if you by "chat" you mean "viciously slaughter". Wonder why their calendar didn't tell them that. Why are we just assuming that they were right about ANYTHING? If they were, Quetzacotl probably already would have shown up by now to murder us. It's no more provable than any other religion, and probably less so.
Furthermore, I've been hearing lately from various sources that the Mayan calendar ending wasn't even SUPPOSED to signal the end of the world. It was basically just like the New Year for them. I'm not ENTIRELY sure if this is true, but you know what? It's more likely than anything the nut-jobs are saying, so I really don't have much of a problem with saying it. You have to fight on their ridiculous level, after all.
*Get it? Because they're crazy homeless people! Hahaha, mocking the horrifically disadvantaged and brain-damaged is fun.
Okay so, I'm not sure if you've read Dan Brown's latest novel: The Lost Symbol. If you did, you might remember what I'm sayin', but if not, then hear me out:
ReplyDeleteSo, according to 33rd Degree Freemason Peter Solomon (or just Freemason dogma in general), the Apocalypse will occur on December 21, 2012.
Now, at first glance this sounds crazy, but listen: the Apocalypse ACTUALLY isn't going to be the "all-out" end of the world, but instead, it will be a great unveiling of knowledge; you see, the world APOCALYPSE is derived from a Greek word that means "to unveil" or "to reveal". From this, Peter stated that:
"The Apocalypse is literally a REVEAL-ATION. The Book of Revelation/Revealation in the Bible"-(where else?)-"predicts an unveiling of great truth and unimaginable wisdom. the Apocalypse is not the end of the world, but rather it is the end of the world as we KNOW it. The prophecy of the Apocalypse is just one of the Bible's beautiful messages that has been distorted...Believe me, the Apocalypse IS coming-and it will be nothing like what we were taught."
So...yeah, this version of the Apocalypse sounds pretty sweet.
And yes, this took like, seven minutes to type. I officially have no life.
I don't read Dan Brown novels because I'm not a stupid slut.
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