Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The New Model Can Clean Rain Gutters

It annoyed me how Apple made such a big goddamn deal about the whole "voice recognition" thing during the new iPhone unveiling,* for a variety of reason. First of all, yeah, that's kinda not really a new thing. There have been phones for what, five years now that have had voice recognition? And yeah, they sucked too. Hell, there are video games from the nineties that had voice recognition. They were terrible, but we had them.

Oh, but this is going to be good voice recognition, right? Not the kind where you ask it to take you to a pie shop and you end up at the adult bookstore trying to find cream filling in the BDSM aisle? Well, there's a bit of a problem with that boys. It's a little secret that I'm gonna let you in on: Nobody actually wants to use voice recognition software. Why? Because you look like a goddamn fool when you do it. No one wants to be standing out in public, talking to their cell phone. Not ON their cell phone, TO their cell phone.

But they say you could use it to spell out texts! So you can text while you drive, so it isn't dangerous! Sure guys, but you still got to READ the text, don't you? And really, I'll believe that the software is good enough to recognize full sentences, and include various dialects and accents, when I see it. And even if it could, you might as well just be talking on the phone, because you're already removing half of what makes texting so convenient in the first place.

Wait, why do I care? I'm not gonna buy one.

*Oh man, current events discussion. We are through the looking glass.

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