I like all of the medical commercials that advertise really gross health-related products, so they just have to dance around the issue for a minute of air time. Like how all those commercials for tampons and pads can't actually say "THIS IS A THING FOR MENSTRUATION. IF YOU ARE A WOMAN YOU SHOULD BUY THIS BECAUSE PERIODS." Because I'm pretty sure that would break at least seven FCC codes. And they never show blood on the pads, do they? No, it's always that mysterious blue liquid. Ladies, I am not a doctor, because that would be the most ludicrously atrocious idea ever formed by any human beings, but I am reasonably certain that if there is a fluorescent blue liquid coming out of you, something has gone horribly wrong. Nobody should be leaking out Oxi-Clean.
Another good one is Preparation H. No sane advertiser is going to come out and say "THIS IS A BUTT CREAM. YOU PUT IT ON YOUR BUTT." for fear of getting arrested. So all the Preparation H commercials just show people sitting on mildly uncomfortable things (lawnmowers, cheap lawnchairs, iron maidens, etc.), then complaining about it, then deciding to use Preparation H. Apparently, the advertisers are under the assumption that you already know what Preparation H does, so you don't have to have it explained to you. If that's the case, why do they need to advertise at all?
And then of course you get the opposite of this. Everyone once in a while you totally blindsided by a commercial that just comes out and says "HEY, DO YOU HAVE HERPES? THAT SUCKS. BUY HERPESAID. IT WILL KILL YOUR HERPES." I appreciate that. I like the thought that there are apparently some people in the advertising world who have completely lost their will to live and just want to see what they get away with now. At least until they figure out a way to reanimate Billy Mays's corpse.
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