Tuesday, November 15, 2011

And You Can Get Porn On the Internet Too

People (including me) often talk about how the Internet is quickly killing off newspapers and that soon they'll all go out of business and we'll get to save a whole bunch of trees and thousands of people will lose their jobs and possibly end up homeless all that good stuff. But nobody ever seems concerned for magazines. It probably has something to do with the fact that nobody really cares about magazines, but that can't be entirely true. I mean, somebody's got to be still reading them, since they're making them and stuff, right? Right?

And I'm not talking about tabloids. For God knows what reason, people still seem to buy those, so they're apparently doing alright. I'm talking about specific interest kinda magazines. You know, video games, wrestling, underwater bee hunting, that kinda stuff. Who's buying these magazines when you usually don't even get them until you already know everything written in them, and you heard about it for free? There's websites that have articles about this stuff, and they don't come out once a month. They're there every damn day with new articles. How are magazines competing with that without resorting to giving away free condoms and chcolate with every subscrition? Well, I'd buy that, anyway.

My theory is that the guy who owns every magazine in the world (that's how corporations work these days, right?) made a deal with the devil. He gets to keep wasting glossy paper that could be better used for the offensive posters on my wall, an he gets to make money even if nobody buys him. And when he dies, he will be punished with a daily papercut to the face. That seems fair.

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