Tuesday, July 26, 2011

But They're Pretty, Yeah

I think it's sort of weird how we give flowers to people as gifts. I mean, flowers are nice and everything, but once you get them, what are you supposed to do with them? Usually you just set them down that night and try to figure out where you're going to put them once you sober up. Then once it's, oh, 5:30 in the afternoon, you decide you should probably put them in some water. Unfortunately, you don't have a vase, because you don't have any children. So you figure you should go and buy one. After realizing that vases are not actually within your budget because you spent it all on booze, you end up either letting the flowers die or sticking them in a coffee mug filled with tap water. And then they die anyway.

What I'm saying is, I don't really get why there's such a pressure for guys to get their dates/girlfriends/sex slaves flowers. And it's pretty specific, isn't it? You gotta get her a dozen red roses, or else she will never love you. If you get eleven, she will probably leave you and take all of your booze money. And I guess thirteen would just be showing off. I guess I just like to think that women are less shallow than that.

But that's alway been a bit of a thing for me. Any woman who leaves you because of something stupid like that probably wasn't worth being with in the first place. Why do you gotta impress her? If flowers impress her that much, she probably doesn't leave the house very often. They're all over the place outside.

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