It's a Dragon Shaped Like Al Pacino

I always wonder about people who get tattoos. I'm not one of those people who gets all worked up whenever I see someone with tattoos, screaming about how they're going to regret it at the top of my lungs and frightening nearby children, but I do always wonder a few things. For example, I wonder how many tattoos are gotten while sober. See, because the stereotype for tattoos is getting completely plastered and waking up with a tattoo of Colonel Sanders performing lewd sex acts on various endangered species with no memory of how it got there, but there's also plenty of people who just go out and GET tattoos. Or, even more so, plan for weeks and weeks for what they want their tattoo to look like, where they want to get it, and all that good nonsense. And then I guess these are the sort of people who die in horrific and slightly hilarious accidents at a young age, because you very rarely see a ninety-year-old man with a full back tattoo. Or maybe old people are more sensible, and they decide to actually wear shirts from time to time. I don't know, I don't have any tattoos.

I've always thought that you should get a tattoo that will look even better once your skin starts to wrinkle. You know, like a tattoo of an elephant or something. That way, it'll just become more and more realistic. And people will look at you and think "Hey, check THAT guy out. He made a stupid decision, but he PLANNED AHEAD with it. How smart of him!" People would be even more impressed if you managed to convince them that you made that decision while drunk. Although I'm not sure why a ninety-year-old needs to impress people. I'm pretty sure at that point you can just go "Check it out, I'm still alive! Hooray for science!" More old people need to take advantage of that. Saving two bucks at the movie theater isn't really taking full advantage of being old.

How about just tattoos that look like moles and stuff. So you can secretly be a rebel, and still be buried in a Jewish cemetery? Or you could just wear clothes with patterns on 'em. You know, without all the needles and stuff. That could work.