You'd think that if God is supposed to be all-loving and perfect, he wouldn't ask us to praise Him* so much. I mean, asking, nay, demanding that everyone praise your name and talk about how great you are all the time doesn't sound like something a perfect being would do. It sounds a bit conceited, doesn't it?They say you should always tell praise Him in your prayers, I guess just in case He forgets that he's awesome or something. I don't know, maybe God has Alzheimer's. He's pretty old.**
Hey, maybe God never said that he wants to be praised all the time. I wouldn't put it past some of those jerkwad Middle Ages priests to change up the scripture like that. Maybe God's sick of people kissing his ass all the time. I probably would eventually. I mean, He's God. He's basically a giant superhero that lives in the sky. He probably wishes we'd all just work on trying to make the world not suck.
By the way, if God knows everything, why do you need to pray? That's like watching an episode of CSI when you already know who did it. It's kind of pointless.
*I forgot about capitalizing all the pronouns until I had already written most of this. I sort of debated with myself on whether I should do it at all, but it just seemed weird not to.
**Welp, I'm going to hell.
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