I hope I never go into a coma. Not because of all the head trauma that will probably be involved,* but because I'll probably be completely terrified about everything that happened. Well actually, it would be a combination of unbelievably traumatizing and kind of cool. Every day would be an adventure! You'd be finding out new things all the time! So yeah, really scary, but at least you'd pretty much never be born anymore.
I mean, can you imagine just finding out about the Internet RIGHT NOW? You'd be occupied for months! And then you'd find out about the porn and it'd be another six! The Internet's already a black hole of productivity in the first place. If you had never even heard about it before, it'd be like discovering a whole new world. And since I'm pretty sure you'd lose your job after being absent every day for thirty years, you'd have even MORE time.
Actually, you'd be pretty screwed on this if you had crappy health insurance. You'd wake up and all of a sudden it would be like "Congratulations, you're bankrupt!" Maybe you'd get to write it off as a really, really long paid vacation. At that point, you'd probably pretend to still be in the coma just so you could stop working altogether. I'm sure no one would mind.
*Since it'll probably be my fault anyway, I'm not too worried about it. I'll probably end up giving myself a concussion just to see what it's like.
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