I would normally write a post today wondering why we're so keen on celebrating people's birthday. "Is it just because we're proud of someone for surviving another rotation around the sun?" I would write, in my trademark way of asking a lot of stupid questions and then never answering them. "How is it different from any other time?" And on and on with that crap. But none of you really want to hear that, do you? You've heard that sort of thing from me thousands of times. They're all really stupid questions, with really obvious answers. We celebrate those things because it is fun to celebrate those things. We enjoy it. I'm probably shooting myself in the foot here, because I'll never get to write an entry like that again, but screw it, oh well. Instead, I'm just going to talk about how awesome birthdays are today.
There are three obvious reasons that birthdays are awesome: cake, parties, and presents. I'd really like to talk about cake, because cake is delicious. But cake is one of those foods that you only really get to eat when there's something special happening, LIKE BIRTHDAYS. And if you know someone that you don't hate who's having a birthday, you're almost guaranteed to get cake at some point. Which is great, because in case this hasn't been clear, cake is delicious. If you don't like cake, get the hell off of my website.
And parties are great too. There are lots of kinds of parties, so you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want on your birthday and call it a party. It could be the standard "drink booze until you black out", or you could jump out of an airplane and call it a "skydiving party". I'm totally doing that at some point. Hell, you could just get a whole bunch of friends together on your birthday and play videogames and eat pizza til you puke like you do every day, but since it's your birthday, IT'S A PARTY. Such is the magic of birthdays.
Oh yes, and presents, of course. Presents are awesome because you get stuff for free. If you don't understand this, you're probably stupid. Birthdays are awesome. FACE.
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