I wonder if the devil is actually not that bad of a guy, and God has just been taking part in a massive smear campaign for the past few millenniums. Maybe Satan is just one of those guys that's only kind of a jerk, but he did something that really pissed off God, so now God hates him. Or hell,* maybe Satan's actually a pretty cool guy, but he stole God's girlfriend or something. You know how those things always go. So then God kicked the crap out of him and made him go live underground. Which, you know, I guess is okay, since he's God, but that seems like overkill to me. Satan must have done something really, really uncool for God to say "Alright, screw this, you get eternal torment. How do you like THAT?"**
Or maybe God's just one of those guys that majorly overreacts to stuff. Like maybe Satan just made a couple ribs on God's mom, which really pissed God off because he never even KNEW his mother, and Satan was all "Come on man, we're just joking around", but God wouldn't listen because he was being all melodramatic. And then he remembered that, oh yeah, he's God, and he has superpowers. It's probably easy to forget that sort of thing in the middle of an argument. You know, too many distractions. You can't keep up with everything ALL the time. So then God decided that Satan needed to shut the hell up. So he did so. Violently.
Or...
Satan's an evil bastard and God is an all-loving deity. But where's the fun in that?
*These puns are going to be sort of inevitable for this one.
**The Bible apparently says that Satan doesn't rule hell, he just lives in it, and it sucks for him too. Seriously, look it up.
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