I like how aggressive the sports drink companies are. You know, with their commercials that don't say, but heavily imply that their sugar-flavored purple water allows you to become the earthly manifestation of Christ. Or at least, you know, Michael Jordan. Of course, they don't actually do any of those things. Mostly they just make you think that you're drinking cough syrup without the mind-blowing high. The thing is, there are like five or six different types of "electrolyte" drinks, the foremost being Gatorade and Powerade,* and they all taste exactly the same. Including the different flavors. I know this, because I was addicted to them during middle school, and I tried pretty much all of them. Also, if you mix enough of them together until the mixture turns brown, it eventually starts to taste like hatred.
It's actually amazing how most drink companies have commercials that imply that they will turn you into Superman. Most companies that sell confectionaries are content to tell you that their food doesn't taste like motor oil, but drink companies like telling you that you will either become amazing at everything, or that it will improve your life in ways you could not possibly imagine. Beer commercials are the obvious target here, but I'm really disturbed by the Coca-Cola ones. At least most beer commercials just sort of come up with as many ways to say "This will make you drunk without tasting like cow blood, also women will have sex with you", Coca-Cola decided that they wanted to imply that this soda WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER. Which a lot of commercials do, but they're just so darn enthusiastic about. Remember kids, soft drinks are the key to success.
*Seriously, how the hell did they get away with that one? That'd be like if some company came along and made a soda called "Cora-Cola".
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