When the Somali pirates started to actually become a genuine threat, a lot of really awful people such as myself complained that these weren't REAL pirates, and were therefore lame and not worth the trouble. See, when we hear "pirate", we want to see ridiculous beards and swordfighting and drunkenly steering ships and eyepatches and TREASURE. And I think the reason for this is that pirates are one of the few historical groups that pop culture has actually portrayed pretty accurately (giant flying demon ghost ship notwithstanding). So when we heard that the world was going to have PIRATES again, REAL pirates, not the "illegally downloading Pink Floyd" kind of pirates, we got excited. Then when we found out they were basically just like all the African criminals we hear about, but on a boat, we were pretty disappointed. Again, because we're awful people.
But the pirates aren't the real problem, are they? No, it's the people they're trying to steal from. Sure, back in the day pirates fought the Navy from time to time, but we all know their real targets were rich white people. And sure, they're still attacking rich white people, but it just isn't the same anymore. Nobody sails through the Atlantic with a giant wooden box full of gold anymore. For good reason, obviously, but it sure makes things less interesting.
I think we miss pirates for the same reason we miss the Cold War or World War II, but on a smaller scale. We need a big enemy to fight, or else we just end up beating up people who don't even stand a chance because we love fighting so much. Sure, we had a fight with those pirates, but it just isn't the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment